Thursday, September 30, 2010

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To!!

Today is the day alot of women and some men but especially women dread! It's my birthday and (gulp) I am 36 today.....only 4 more yrs to the Big Ole 40! But you know what, I don't mind one bit that today is my birthday and that I turned 36 today. In fact, I love it! I love birthdays, mine or anybody else's. It is a day to celebrate you coming into this world to make it more special, a day to remember someone special and it should be a celebration celebrating your life. I do have days where like the next woman I want to stay young looking and looking good and have good health. I want to be beautiful and have a great body. I am far from perfect in my body, looks, and life but I know for the most part I love my life! And I have had some pretty rough times in my life, marriage, and in the looks department. But all in all I am so thankful to be alive and to be living the life I do. Of course I wish I didn't have to get up early, clean house, do laundry, bills and financial hardships, kid struggles, and fights with my honey, wish I didn't have zits on my face (right on my chin to say hello to eveyone 10 miles away!), nor have to fight my weight. I could go on and on, And some days I just cant take it and start to feel down and low, but I fight my way back up. I have been in the deep despairs of depression before and I never want to go there again. And I have been close to going back, but I refuse to go back there and will fight with everything I have in me. I will get bruised on the way, but I will fight. And today I choose to enjoy my life and love every bit and piece of it, warts and all! I know I am getting closer to 40 but I refuse to say I am getting Older, I am just getting Sexier! I think I could be a Cougar now!! I love my husband and my kids and all my friends and I am going to celebrate today. And I am going to wear whatever I want today (maybe nothing!) and laugh and love and look forward to life ahead. I get to be Sexier anyways, not older (who wouldn't want that!). Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

New to this whole blogging thing!

  I have never blogged before but love reading blogs out there. There are some pretty funny ones and some pretty fucked up ones! I am a wife and mom of 4 kids and I know every mom has a story and no one really gives a shit about my messed up crazy life but hey what the heck, I wanna write and so here I am! I have a 14 yr. old, 11 yr. old, 9 yr. old (the only girl) and a "surprise" 2 yr. old. I say surprise but in all honestly, we didn't ever use birth control, because the pill gave me horrible migraines and we never used condoms cause you know well it doesn't matter why. After you know so many years of lots of whooping it up and no more babies, I stupidly thought that we would done and we were completely happy with our three kiddos and they were getting  older and not so much work physically that is. Well, you know one drunken night and a backseat in a furniture store parking lot and that started another chapter for us!! Why we were surprised when we were not using any birth control I'll never know.....just being stupid! But this little guy has been such a blessing to us, of course he has been tremendous work and having to start all over again has not been the most fun but he is such a cutie pie that we adore and I know he is spoiled rotten! On the plus with older kids, we have a built in babysitter!! It does get crazy around here with a kid in highschool and a toddler and two inbetween and everyone needing something and I am totally not the organized natural homemaker kind of mom. But I love my family warts and all.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Rain, rain go away!

Why did it have to rain today of all days? See it's not that I  just dislike rain (I love sunny days, but making out in rain is pretty awesome too!), but my beautiful talkative 9 yr old daughter was suppose to have her annual "Hoedown" at school this evening. She has been practicing and practicing, I mean I think the wooden floor has some dents in it from all her stomping.  With wooden floors it has also been extremely loud around here with all of her "practicing" and now her little 2 yr. old brother is stomping too. Added to all the noise is this hoedown is all she talks about as soon as she gets home from school and when she wakes up in the morning! I mean this poor girl has been so excited and couldn't even wait till today. We got the whole outfit ready last night and of course we had to do a fashion show and then the dance that we have seen so many times (finally we started telling her to let it be a surprise for us.....I know, I know that is selfish but come on. Wooden floors and non stop talking!!) Well she gets up this morning and it is looking overcast and she is looking worried. Well, it ended up getting cancelled and they will do it on Tues. But she was so sad about it, she was  even about to cry. I felt bad for thinking that OMG, we are going to have to go a few more days of this practice and hearing all about the hoedown! But such is life.